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  • Writer's pictureGladys Agwai

Are you carrying the“choose me”sign?

“Never, ever, sacrifice what you want the most, for what you want the most in that moment.”-James A. Owen

Are you carrying around an invisible sign through your body language and words wherever you go that says, “please choose me” turning over your power and fate to others?

Does your worth rely on a friend, partner, job, or client choosing you? When waiting to be chosen, do you question if you are “good enough” versus if they are good enough for you? You suffer when you give over your power to someone else to choose you and you have not healed that part of you that feels unworthy or not enough when rejected and not chosen.

This becomes a negative magnet that continually attracts people that cannot and will not choose you. You must realize that your self-worth comes from within you and not from others. You do not have to earn your worthiness only remember that you “are” worthy, enough, and have a choice. You choose who or what you will or will not accept in your life, business, or career.

However, too often people live on autopilot nervously waiting to be chosen by others stuck in waiting. YOU wait on a client, friend, or group association to choose if you can serve them, a partner to determine if you can meet their needs, a job to say you fit, or a person you are dating deciding whether you make sense right now. You settle for whatever you can get taking the easier route to ensure acceptance and belonging to something, anything! You believe it is easier but living in a settled environment is not easier. You are left unfulfilled and longing for better.

Low self-esteem makes you take what you can get instead of having the confidence to choose and wait for what you desire. You deserve better. Once you shift your mindset and become confident in your ability to choose what is right for you, you will begin to attract and keep what is right and discard what is not.

Is it time for you to put down that “choose me” sign and make the shift?

Make better choices by asking and answering these questions:

• Do I want to be with this person, or would I rather have someone with more qualities that I value?

• Is this the right person to represent me in my life, business, or career to speak on my behalf? Why did I choose or consider choosing them? Did I take the least path of resistance risking the results I need and want?

• What are my fears and insecurities while I wait to be chosen?

• Have I subconsciously or consciously wrongfully adapted my behavior to increase my chances of being chosen?

• When I have not been chosen, a) what emotions come up for me. b) what were my reactions and behaviors based on my emotions, and c) what has been my results?

• How have I defined who I am based on allowing and waiting on others to choose me?

It is critical to your wellbeing and success that you show up as someone who can hold your own and own your right to choose. Take the time to go through the discovery phase of determining what you want and deserve while understanding can you get it from those in your circles of influence. You do not have to settle and be the passive passenger just going along on someone else’s journey making their agenda yours. Maureen Dowd said, “The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.”

You do not have to wait to be chosen, validated, and shaped into something you do not like. In doing so, you twist yourself into a pretzel holding on to someone or something at all costs to belong in an unwelcoming environment. Do not give anyone this much power to decide your fate. It leaves a huge hole in your life when not chosen. Do not wait to become the priority. You are the priority! You do not have to twist yourself into being the right person for someone else. Be the right person for you aligning to your values and aspirations.

Reclaim your power by:

• Choosing to choose you!

• Being willing to wait for what you choose!

• Enjoying the journey of your choice!

• Letting go of any choice where you settled!

• Knowing your worth and value!

“The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own.

No apologies or excuses. No one to rely on or blame. The gift is yours; it is an amazing journey, and you alone are responsible for the quality of it.”- Bob Moawad

Article Written by Gladys Agwai:

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