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  • Gladys Agwai

How to Be the Master of Your Authentic Self!



Don Miguel Ruiz, Author of the Mastery of Love, says “You have the power to create. Your power is so strong that whatever you believe comes true and becomes your reality. The main difference between you and someone else is how you apply your power and what you create with your power.” You have practiced all your life to falsely be what you believe mastering your own personality, beliefs, actions, and reactions. This has made it impossible to be who you really are. Through your beliefs, surrounding circumstances, and practice you can become a master of anger, jealousy, sadness, and self-rejection living on autopilot. This is not who you are! When engaging with others, you immediately classify and assign them a role in your life creating a false image of yourself to be accepted. You do the same with everyone and everything around you.


Humans live in continuous fear of being hurt creating drama. For no apparent reason, they can get emotional (jealous) and in denial about the truth to protect themselves. You believe it is too painful to see yourself as you really are with the fear of letting others see the real you. Even though hurt and fear exists, you will enter different types of relationships because of your need to be accepted and belong. The pretending continues keeping you stuck. When you learn not to be afraid to be who you are, it will not matter what someone says or does. It no longer hurts, and you no longer need to protect yourself. You can freely love, share, and open your heart in your life, business, and career.


My granddaughter, Rose, is three years old, and plays all the time. She is imaginative and adventurous. When something is wrong, she will defend herself. But will quickly let it go and gets back to her moment of playing and exploring again. She lives in the moment. She is not ashamed about anything, worried about the past or future, afraid to love or share. When you are with her, she demands your active presence and focus. What happened? According to Don Miguel Ruiz, throughout your childhood you are taught the concept of punishment and reward. You became afraid to be punished and not getting the reward. This creates the need to be accepted and the fear of being rejected for not being good enough. This is what makes you change creating an image that is not real. You work hard practicing to project that false image mastering how to be what you are not. Soon you forget who you really are. The greater the discrepancy between who you are and what you project to the outside world, makes it more difficult to adapt. Beginning about age four, children begin learning that everyone’s opinions are important and then seek opinions from others to help ensure acceptance.


Throughout life, you ask, for example, how do I look? When the answer is negative, you’re ugly or too whatever, you judge yourself negatively even though it is a lie. The result is creating and projecting new false images to be accepted and not rejected. You pretend you are important and yet, at the same time believe you are nothing. You must heal by opening your emotional wounds to uncover the denials and lies you have accepted all your life. Become a master of being your authentic self through consistent practice of the following:


1). Know and act on the truth instead of the lies and denials: You are not ugly but a beautiful soul.

2). Forgive yourself and those who hurt you: When you forgive, you do not suffer every time you remember it. Have compassion for breeds self-acceptance and self-love.

3). Demonstrate unconditional love: Love yourself, your neighbors, and your enemies. It can be hard but is the only way to be happy.

4). Be wise: Use your own mind to control your life to be who you really are.


You must ensure that your inside world (mind, body, spirit) is in control of your outer world and not the other way around. You determine your fate not others. Most people do not believe they possess the power to create and control their destiny. You must think and act differently which means to master yourself first. Get to know who you are, what you want, and what you must do. Be committed, focused, and be the cause behind your results. Enjoy your journey of getting to know your authentic self!


“KNOW who you are, BE who you are, LOVE who you are and be UNAPOLOGETIC about it!”

-Gladys Agwai


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