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  • Writer's pictureGladys Agwai

How to Have a Better Relationship with Money

“Do not let money run your life. Let money help you run your life better.”

-John Rampton

Your mindset around money is your personal set of conscious and subconscious beliefs about money, how and what you think and feel about money along with the impact of your money choices and decisions of scarcity or abundance. A scarcity mindset is a feeling that you will never have enough, and you need to continually strive for more creating anxiety, worry, and feelings of lack. You accumulate wealth from being frugal. However, your shift to spending your money creates a lot of anxiety. An abundance mindset is the feeling of having enough. You appreciate what you have and allow yourself to experience joy. It is a feeling of prosperity versus survival and another’s. success does not mean less for you. You cannot change what you do not know. Once you understand your mindset and decision-making process around money, it will be easier to spot and get rid of what keeps you from financial independence.


Your emotions around money are related to fear, guilt, shame, and envy. You fear not having enough, looking stupid, being exposed, or humiliated. Your guilt can be based on the negative impact your decisions had on others or having more money than others. You feel shame when you feel you let yourself down or did not live up to your own expectations. You then avoid doing what you know to be right reducing your anxiety in the short term never removing or managing the problem. You must be aware of your emotions and challenge them to ensure you make rational money decisions. Mental health and substance abuse concerns leads to poor judgment, a lack of attentiveness to finances, employment jeopardy and being secretive. Ensure you get the help you need that leads to better judgment.

Every family has its own psychology and stories around money, for example, how money is discussed, who controls the money, what money responsibilities are assigned to what gender, how important money is or is not, or a story of ruin from money failures and its generational impact. What is your friend’s mindset around money? Pay attention to the mindset and influence of the people around you.


According to Ken Honda, author of “Happy Money,” you fall into one or more of these money personality types. Identify yours and set a plan to act:

• Compulsive Saver: You put away money endlessly, too often with no goal in mind.

• Compulsive Spender: You spend money for immediate gratification while hiding what you spent from others.

• Compulsive Moneymaker: You believe that doing what it takes to earn as much money as possible is the secret to happiness. You live for accolades from others about your financial success.

• Indifferent-to-Money: You feel strongly that money should not influence important decisions in life while living on modest amounts of money to be happy.

• Saver-Splurger: You save money, but then give in to impulsive spending. You become stressed and disappointed in yourself for working so hard to save money, only to quickly lose it.

• Gambler: The thrill of risk and promise of reward is a pleasure unto itself that you can quickly get lost in. You borrow against important family and business funds to make up for losses.

• The Worrier: You constantly worry that you will lose whatever amount of money you have at any given moment fearing what will happen if you run out of money.


Oprah Winfrey said, “What you focus on expands, and when you focus on the goodness in your life, you create more of it. Opportunities, relationships, even money flowed my way when I learned to be grateful no matter what happened in my life.” Make your money shift by:

• Focusing and being grateful for what you have.

• Treating yourself to small luxuries.

• Changing your money script to “How can I afford it?” versus “I cannot afford it.”

• Dreaming and visualizing what you want.

• Directing your money without the emotions.

• Seeing money as a tool that you control.

• Investing in your financial literacy.

Now that you have learned about the impact of your money mindset, it is up to you to shift and avoid self-sabotaging your financial stability and life. It takes you deciding, committing, and acting. Start today!

“Argue for your limitations and, sure enough, they’re yours.”-Richard Bach

Written By: Gladys Agwai

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