When is it Time to Quit?
“Most people will choose unhappiness over uncertainty!”- Tim Ferriss
It is widely known that change is constant, the need for change exists, and with change comes
internal and external signals that if ignored produce consequences, such as lost personal and professional relationships, jobs, finances, education, and health.
Long before rejection occurs most people choose to quietly stay stuck living a life of regret, uncertainty, and fear enslave within their environments. Negative experiences are like weeds in grass that are mowed down but continually grow back and spread. Simply mowing the negative impact of your experiences drives you deeper and deeper into feeling a lack of acceptance and belonging. Growing up as children we plucked or removed weeds from the roots in our yard to clear them out to make room for lush grass.
There comes a time when negative people, situations, and experiences should be plucked by the root from your life to make room for the greatness you deserve. What situations have you been mowing over to get rid of them, yet they keep coming back and growing?
Below are some real-life examples of people who are in enslaved situations they want to pluck but
continue to mow:
• “I am not happy in my relationship or job. I have too many demands on my time, and I am exhausted. Everything is falling apart around me, and I just want to start over. I have been praying that this situation would change. It has not. How can I continue like this?”
• “I need help! I have been trying to find clarity in what to do, and I still have not found it. Do we stay together or grow apart? It has been five years. When things are good, they are amazing. But when they are bad, they are bad. I know that if I could fix this one thing in my life, many other things would grow, like my business, friendships, etc. It is the foundation, and it feels cracked. I don’t know what I am rooting for anymore”.
• “My husband is an alcoholic and will die if he keeps drinking. He would be furious if he finds out I shared this, but I want more. I am smart, educated, motivated, and resourceful. I know these to be true, and yet I want to pull him up with me. I am starting to think that is not possible”.
• “Is it Sunday already?! I am dreading going to work! I hate what I am doing and how they treat me. I know there is something better for me. I want to quit, but I do not know if this is the right time. Can I make this work? Should I stay with what I know?”
These are examples of conversations people have with themselves or others at some point. Never Give Up is a statement you have heard all your life. Perseverance and drive are essential to your success. So is knowing when to walk away. Too often, fear keeps you running away from the problem as opposed to running toward your solution. You often end up choosing something you do not like rather than getting the clarity and confidence required to achieve your better future. Inertia is the tendency to do nothing or to remain unchanged. It is the main culprit that keeps you staying in unwanted circumstances.
The more demands on your life, business, or career, the less control you think you have. You are more than likely to suffer from exhaustion, sleep deprivation, anxiety, and depression. ‘Choosing’ to stay in these negative situations and experiences and enduring the emotional and physical pain is very harmful to your future endeavors. It is because you will carry the burden of them into your next relationship, job, etc. However, choosing to quit can be a gut-wrenching decision. You agonize over whether you are making the right choice. You mentally take yourself through a quit cycle of second guessing, fear, overwhelm and blame. Do you want to quit?
• DECIDE: You must decide based on the best information you have. You will never leave or
quit with absolute certainty. Before deciding, check these things.
• Internal signals: These signals (uneasiness/anxiety) are telling you that something is not right. Have these signals been felt over a long period? Action is required.
• External signals: It is critical to be alert and aware of what is happening immediately around you as well as your perimeter with people and situations. Leverage these signals (economic/environment/
technology/relationships) to your advantage.
• Your motivation: This will help you understand just how awful, good, or urgent the situation
is. Your desire to stay in something you do not like is unhealthy!
• PREPARE: If you decide to leave, then you must work to ensure your decision was the right decision. Preparation will help build up your confidence by alleviating uncertainties and mitigating your risks. Do this:
• Set a deadline to make your decision to go or stay and the date to leave noting key milestones required.
• Identify what you want to do now/next. If staying, what ‘must’ change?
• Determine what is needed to be financially and emotionally secure.
• Understand your skill gaps and close them.
• EXECUTE: Nothing changes until you act. Do not make any excuses out of fear. You decided
it was best for you and your future. Make it work!
Things you can quit now:
• Allowing others to define you.
• Ignoring signals
• Doubting yourself
• Thinking it will work out on its own.
• Assuming you have no choice
• Doing the same thing with no results
• Making excuses
Waiting for the right time
Everyone has their limits. You must push the limit to grow and optimize, while knowing your limitations. Quitting is one of the most challenging decisions you can make because of uncertainty. The decision to stay stuck or thrive is yours. Have you had enough?
“There is a difference between giving up and knowing when you have had enough.”-Gladys Agwai
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